What should I do....

    • What should I do....

      Me and my ex-boyfrind were together for two years and everything seemed to be going great. However about two weeks ago be broke up with me ... just in time for the holiday. We didn't talk for a week and then I got a call. He has been telling me that he loves me and that he wants to get back together. Then the next moment I know he just wants to be friends. Then back to the first thing. This has been going on for too long and I feel that he is playing with my emotions. I don't know what to do ... he was my first boyfriend and I still love him unconditionally. I really want to get back with him, but I know that I can't force him. What can I do to show him that I am worth that chance that I gave him? This is getting really serious, I can't eat, sleep, or concentrate anymore. I lost about 15 pounds in the last week, and I don't choose to ... my body is rejecting everything. I really need some advice, I really want my true love back....
      ~Baker :confused:

    • Re: What should I do....

      Well, he is playing with your emotions. It sounds like he isn't sure what he wants and he's dragging you along while he figures it out. I don't think it's about you being worth the chance. You're the one getting hurt and you have to decide if it's worth going on like this or if it's best to let go. There could be a reason he's acting this way. I think it's best to talk to him and see what's in store for the two of you. Talk with him about it and get everything out in the open.
      good luck.

      Support Leader,
      Jasmine
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    • Re: What should I do....

      I agree, too.

      He's not being straight with you, therefore try not to go running to him because he has to realize he cannot play with your emotions, it's not fair. If he seems ready to have a serious talk, and will let you sit and discuss how you feel etc, then that may be a good idea, however if he continues to play with your emotions, then it's his loss. I know it must be difficult to lose someone you love, but it's probably more hurtful being messed around like this.

    • Re: What should I do....

      Your relationship is already over. What's going on here is that you truly love him, and he loves the feeling of having someone to love. He wants to explore other interests then you, but he is too afraid to be alone so he keeps you close like a teddy bear he can hug when things aren't going right for him. In the end you're going to hurt while he explores.

      You have two choices here, either you decide to cut him loose and never see him again and force yourself to get on with your life or tell him that you understand if he wants to have a less committed relationshiped for awhile. This way either he will realize he truly loves you (less likely) or you will slowly ween yourself off your dependence of him much like he is trying to do with you.
      Without sensibility no object would be given to us, without understanding no object would be thought. Thoughts without content are empty, intuitions without concepts are blind. ~Immanuel Kant, Critique of Pure Reason
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      Is just to Love
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    • Re: What should I do....

      DeaExMachina wrote:

      Your relationship is already over. What's going on here is that you truly love him, and he loves the feeling of having someone to love. He wants to explore other interests then you, but he is too afraid to be alone so he keeps you close like a teddy bear he can hug when things aren't going right for him. In the end you're going to hurt while he explores.

      I could not agree more!

      It's a scary thing to go back into the single world after such a long relationship, so it's totally normal for him to falter in the decision, even if it was for a good reason. And it's equally normal for you to have a hard time dealing with it.

      It doesn't sound to me like even if you two were to continue the relationship that it would have a good foundation. Being in a relationship on the basis of not wanting to be alone (i.e. being depressed by NOT being in a relationship) really doesn't seem like a good choice, and seems to fail more often than not. Better to move on and heal after this go around then to just suffer again in the future even more.

      Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and your happiness. Sometimes what we want and what we need are two different things, and it's important for you to realize that, both for yourself and for this guy.