Weak inside.

    • Weak inside.

      In a lot of ways you could say I am perfectly strong, but in one really serious way I am very weak.

      I let things people do and say really damage me inside. I don't know why, I try to fight it and not let it get to me, but it does. Big time.

      Like all those time people I hardly even knew hated on me calling me a "creep" or a "freak" or "ugly" or something stupid like that.

      Like that time I was just walking on the sidewalk last summer minding my own business and someone I didn't even know who was sitting in a car just randomly threw a can of pop at me. I stopped and I turned around just in time to see the car squealing away down the street. I told people about it and everyone just kept suggesting that it was an accident. Hah, no way was that an accident, I know and they know that they meant to do it. I know I sound like a complete pussy when I say this, but that really, really hurt a lot.

      Then there was all those other times, all those times I got beat up by these huge guys at school I hardly knew and all these people just stood around and watched, all those times people would randomly throw stuff at me and say mean things just because I happened to walk by, all those times I got screwed over by the cops, etc.

      I'm not trying to complain about any of those things, because they are all in the past and I suppose you could say in one way I got over them, but the memory of it and emotional damage still affects me to this day.

      If you want to put it the mean way you could say I am just "feeling sorry for myself". But if you want to put it the way I see it, you could say that I am confused and I don't understand what I do wrong in life.

      I want to be a better person but it is very hard. How do you "be strong" like people always say to do? "Get over it"? Is there an art to it, a sort of "method"?
      [SIZE=3]-Melanie [SIZE=5]♥[/SIZE][/SIZE]

      Hunger hurts but I want it so bad.
      Hunger hurts but starving works when it costs too much to love

    • Re: Weak inside.

      If your concentration is strong enough, you can seal it away in the back of your mind and never think about it again. Or, you can just face the truth. Sometimes, people just do it because they like to torment others. They don't pick on you especially, but anyone that looks like they can't handle it. If you walk timidly, with your head down, not so firm in your steps, they'll be able to tell. Next time, try appearing confident and walk with your friends. They're less likely to pick on groups.

      However, if there are some people that aim to hurt you on purpose, then why are they doing it? If it's about your image and you can fix it, then go right ahead. Whether it be working out or going shopping. If you can't do anything, then you just have to accept it for that. They're cruel jerks who have nothing else to do, and you're minding your own business. The only harm they're doing to do is to themselves, because as they try to make others feel inferior and they are not in anyway superior, they degrade themselves. They're useless, a pile of junk. No need to bother with them.

      If they take it too far, like throwing stuff at you, you can file for harassment. Remember the car model, hopefully the license plate number and take it to the police.

      Remember that they hurt you only when they've striked a nerve. If they call you a freak and you're hurt by it, it shows that on some level you're dissatisfied with yourself. So work on whatever you can improve until you're not bothered by their comments. Many people admire you, and others may despise you. It's something you'll have to live with, just as everyone else does. Think about your good points rather than dwelling on the bad experiences.

      Support Leader,
      Kase~
      [CENTER][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=4]
      [/SIZE]      [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
      [/CENTER]

    • Re: Weak inside.

      Melanie, you'll work through these difficulties one at a time. Like I did with mine. Someone said "Rome wasn't built in a day". Neither will we win over our problems in one day or one week. Let alone one month. But as Kase said, think about your good points. I'll add your good points mean also you are strong, and in them can cope. By coping with what you know that you can do, will make it easier for you to concentrate on your weaker ones. If you fail, don't be worried. We are not perfect, any of us. So if you slip back a few paces, then don't dwell on them. In time you'll become stronger. Just tell yourself "I can do it!" -You will. :)

      Idiots, jerks, people who attack you on forums - ignore. Walking away, not replying to them is a form of good character, inner strength not to retaliate, so going down to their level. And why should you? Those who diss you, those who hurt you - only hurt themselves. Rise above them, rise above their cat-calling, stupid, immature, drama-making remarks. Ignore then and you're on the side of winning, becoming stronger day by day. I admire you. :)