"Let time run it's course?"

    • "Let time run it's course?"

      hello D:

      I have a bit of a problem, just because I'm kindof clueless as to what to do

      it's a long story, but the long and short of it is that about two years ago, this girl and I that I was close with began to go out, and we were together a few months and everything, it was great and all, but eventually she broke it off with me because of her parents being so hard on her expectation-wise, and so I was cool with that.

      so we ended up becoming like, closest friends, which is amazing because I swear this girl can read me like a book, and i sometimes feel the same. the only problem is that in the meantime, she eventually began to see someone else, a friend of both of ours, and he's a real cool guy and everything, and they've been going steady for over a year now, twice as long as what she and I had.

      I still feel for her really badly, though, and recently i opened myself up to her about how I felt, and how that I really needed her to be in my life again, as it's been about two years or so that we've been apart

      She explained to me that there might be some feelings deep inside her that still love me as more than just a friend, but that right now, she's happy with me just being her closest friend, which we still are

      my problem here is that I'm not sure of what to do, this girl is my practical best friend and I can tell her anything, but I really love her like crazy and i'm thinking about her all the time. the guy she's with is really great though, and like, i don't know if there's even a way I could show her that I'd be better than him or something

      I confided all this into a mutual friend of me and my ex, who, having known the both of us as long as we've known each other, told me that he really does think that she and I could have a potential future together, but that for the time being, i shouldn't talk to her about it and that I should "let time run it's course." while I agree with his advice, I'm still a bit lost as to what to do, because the guy she's with is great and all, and neither are the kind of person that's just gonna up and leave the other; their relationship is just as strong as she and I's was if not stronger.

      i just really can't seem to find intrest in other people, something in my chest just tells me to go after this girl, you know? So can anyone help me as in what direction to go in? I'd do anything to be with her again...
    • Re: "Let time run it's course?"

      A year? Wow.....
      Are you sure...100% sure that you do not like her more now because she is seeing someone else? Honestly....look deep inside your self and answer that question.

      I honestly have lost count of how many people broke up with their boyfriends or girlfriends and everything was fine until the other one started seeing someone....and then suddenly i became "I love her/him. I always have" etc

      Be very very careful. Yes you still may have had feelings for her after she broke up with you (which is perfectly normal and expected) but I suspect those were amplified when she started seeing someone. Basically it became something along the lines of: I want her more because now I can't have her. WHICH is a typical human psychology....

      If that is not the case then look at it this way:
      You being upset over it and sad over it and hoping and dwelling....will not change the fact thats he is still dating someone. It will not increase your chances of getting back together...and it sure as hell will not accelerate the time.

      What it might (and probably will do) is: you will start hating her because you will feel she is treating you unfair by promising you things that might happen while she is dating someone else. It will also ruin your next couple of months (or w/e amount out time they go out for) because you will just there in the corner hanging onto that "maybe" thread.

      What I suggest is doing exactly what you said...let is run it's course. If she likes you, she will eventually bore of that guy and come back to you. If you end up breaking them up, she will always have that "what if" in her head may even blame you for doing what you did (break them up). Find someone else....yea I know what you will say but finding other people to date is not that hard. She is the one you like most....SO FAR. There are other girls out there. There is no reason that you can't enjoy your self while she does. If you believe she will come to you, she will.....in the meantime find something to pass the time faster.


      Hope that helps
      O.o
      The King of Mind-Fuck
    • Re: "Let time run it's course?"

      I think you're friend was right, let time run it's course. Maybe in the future you'll be together but right now isn't your time. She's happy with the guy she's with, don't ruin that. There is nothing you can do except wait it out and hope that maybe one day she'll be with you.
      All the Best
      Support Leader
      Charley
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    • Re: "Let time run it's course?"

      I do agree that you should let time run its course. It is unfair both to her and her boyrfriend, you friend if you were to pursue her. Your feelings are understandable (I've been in a similar place), but..well...yeah...
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