this kinda has to do with friends and family but mostly about me I just didn't want to categorize it as depression/self hurt/suicide cause I'm definitely not to that point at all
but anyway. I'm just so alone I guess. I mean I guess it's a teenager thing but I just feel like crap all the time. I don't like being home because my parents are like undercover substance abusers like they think I don't know like I don't know my mother has a drinking problem like I don't know my dad smokes pot. and besides that I'm 16 years old an I have to share a room with my 8 year old sister and my 17 year old brother is like the friggen golden boy even though he does drugs parties and drinks all the time but I guess it would be pretty hypocritical of my parents to get mad at him for it. but they act like I do all that and that every little thing I do will end the world. it's ridiculous I once didn't do the litter box whn I was like 14 and I got grounded for a month and that same summer my brother got caught smoking and he didn't even get grounded he just got a 'serious' talkig to and they made him promise to quit. even though he still smokes to this day
and I only have a few good friends I have trust issues I think and only one of those friends I feel like I can trust with my life pretty much but he's a total jerk to me sometimes he just plays too much and ends up hurting my feelings and I tell him and he just tells me I'm a baby but maybe I am idk. I just don't have that many friends to begin with. and last time I had a boyfriend was eighth grade it's a real confidence booster and it's not like I'm picky it's that no guy even like seems remotely interested. and I know that guys don't like the mopey girl in the corner so I am mostly happy at school I mean it's not like I'm clinically depressed so I am capable of being happy justsometimes I think about my life and all this and it just gets me sad you know. idk what happened to me in middle school I was really social and boys were interested and boys were interested and I continued that in part of highschool but it all juststarted to slow down for some reason. justeveryone changed and I had to find new friends and I just felt alone. I just don't want to feel alone on this I want to know if imnot the only one cause u know I'm not I just feel like I am. I just wanna know if it gets better
but anyway. I'm just so alone I guess. I mean I guess it's a teenager thing but I just feel like crap all the time. I don't like being home because my parents are like undercover substance abusers like they think I don't know like I don't know my mother has a drinking problem like I don't know my dad smokes pot. and besides that I'm 16 years old an I have to share a room with my 8 year old sister and my 17 year old brother is like the friggen golden boy even though he does drugs parties and drinks all the time but I guess it would be pretty hypocritical of my parents to get mad at him for it. but they act like I do all that and that every little thing I do will end the world. it's ridiculous I once didn't do the litter box whn I was like 14 and I got grounded for a month and that same summer my brother got caught smoking and he didn't even get grounded he just got a 'serious' talkig to and they made him promise to quit. even though he still smokes to this day
and I only have a few good friends I have trust issues I think and only one of those friends I feel like I can trust with my life pretty much but he's a total jerk to me sometimes he just plays too much and ends up hurting my feelings and I tell him and he just tells me I'm a baby but maybe I am idk. I just don't have that many friends to begin with. and last time I had a boyfriend was eighth grade it's a real confidence booster and it's not like I'm picky it's that no guy even like seems remotely interested. and I know that guys don't like the mopey girl in the corner so I am mostly happy at school I mean it's not like I'm clinically depressed so I am capable of being happy justsometimes I think about my life and all this and it just gets me sad you know. idk what happened to me in middle school I was really social and boys were interested and boys were interested and I continued that in part of highschool but it all juststarted to slow down for some reason. justeveryone changed and I had to find new friends and I just felt alone. I just don't want to feel alone on this I want to know if imnot the only one cause u know I'm not I just feel like I am. I just wanna know if it gets better