I'm in love with an 11 year old... NEED SERIOUS HELP

    • I'm in love with an 11 year old... NEED SERIOUS HELP

      Okay before you go and judge me and tell me I'm terrible and sick and whatnot, please hear my story. I am 16 years old, and I am in love with my best friend's 11 year old sister. The best way to explain this and for people to help me is to start from the beginning. Which takes me back 5 years, to when I met my best friend. I never really noticed his little sister, mostly because, well, she was little. But I got closer and closer to my best friend which means I got closer to his family. Over a year ago, his sister started playing a game online we both played, and I started really talking to her for the first time. We escalated our conversations to aim. We talked every night for hours and really made a fun thing out of it and always were excited to see each other on aim. Of course, we weren't so close in real life, that took a while longer. I never made a point to hang out with her in real life, but playing so many video games with my best friend at his house I happened to be around her alot so I suppose we got closer. We talked less on aim but more in real life and eventually we admitted to really being friends. And by then I had admitted to myself I was in love with her. Its not my fault, she's funny, smart, beautiful, all I could ever want. She's my last thought before I go to bed, and my first when I wake up. I'm not exaggerating when I say I lay in bed for hours thinking about her. I've wasted LOADS of time just thinking about her. The last 6 months or so its made me very depressed. I go in mood swings, depending on if I'm at my friends house alot and seeing her alot or not in which I'm very sad. In general though, the love I have for her causes me pain because I'm very sure its not returned. I've gone into depression, I can't think about anything but her, and its ruining my life. I'm desparate. I have no creepy or bad intentions, why can't I be with her? Why can't she share my feelings? Why do the laws of society have to be so harsh? Her parents are another thing, if they found out I loved her, I wouldn't be allowed to be around her, that would ruin me. So that is possibly the worst thing of all I CAN'T TELL HER ;( As you can see I need serious help. My only goal in life is to win her heart. And there are younger competitors at times whom I can't compete with bc they can outwardly and easily flirt with her w/o being looked at funny. It drives me insane. HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!! :"(

    • Re: I'm in love with an 11 year old... NEED SERIOUS HELP

      x_x. Well as you have said, our society will condemn anything that you could attempt at this age.
      That being said, an age difference of 5 years isn't that bad once you get a bit older. So like... maybe when's she's 18 and you're 23 people would accept it a bit more? But honestly, if you ever waited that long (which I don't think your or anyone could honestly do) you would probably for fall another girl. You think your infatuation with her is the real thing, but it will die like it always does. I think you should just focus on being friends.

    • Re: I'm in love with an 11 year old... NEED SERIOUS HELP

      This is definitely a complicated issue.. I'm not going to doubt that you may love her, but are you sure it's the type of love a boyfriend/girlfriend would have, or more sibling like? Also, even if you do love her now, she still has puberty to go through. She may change drastically. She may not be the same person as she was before after puberty, you know?

      I say you should rethink your feelings towards her. If you continue to feel that she is someone you love, and more than just the sibling like love, you will have to wait. You're 16, and she's 11. A 5 year difference is not a big deal usually, however she is so much younger that your mental comprehension of things is waaaay better than hers. Give her a few years to grow. I know it'll be tough, but it's for the best.

      No matter what you do, do not act on your feelings. I wish you the best. Stay strong and wait. Good luck. =)

      Support Leader,
      ~James
      Need help or just want to talk? PM me. :)
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    • Re: I'm in love with an 11 year old... NEED SERIOUS HELP

      Cut off all contact with her, and get help. May seem harsh, but it's better than falling into temptation and spending the next 15 years of your life in federal prison, man. Depending on where you live, that's a serious possibility.

      As for her being "smart, funny, beautiful" ? She's 11, bro. I've never met an 11 year old that was any of those things. I think you're just obsessed with the idea of being with her for some reason, and it's a huge problem and you really do need to seek professional help (Asking people on the internet does not constitute actual help). Immediately.

      The post was edited 1 time, last by Ari Gold ().

    • Re: I'm in love with an 11 year old... NEED SERIOUS HELP

      gummyluchest wrote:

      No. Just wait hehe if you can til she matures n shit, then it would actually be practical.

      How can he? The earliest it would be even the least bit acceptable would be when she's 16, and he's 21. Which is 5 years from now. How can you possibly expect that he'd be able to contain his feelings for her over that amount of time without falling to temptation?

    • Re: I'm in love with an 11 year old... NEED SERIOUS HELP

      Okay before you go and judge me and tell me I'm terrible and sick and whatnot, please hear my story. I am 16 years old, and I am in love with my best friend's 11 year old sister.


      Creeper. I judged you; sue me.

      I've wasted LOADS of time just thinking about her.


      Yes, you have.

      I have no creepy or bad intentions, why can't I be with her?


      Here's why:

      At five years her senior (you being 16 and her 11) you have a vastly different view of the world, a vastly different maturity level, and a vastly different mode of thinking. You say that you're in love with her, yet you have no creepy or bad intentions. I'd like to call bullshit on one or both of those claims. I'm almost positive that you either don't love her (which is likely, considering most 16 year old don't have enough experience or perspective to truly know what love is), or that you do in fact have creepy or bad intentions with her (which considering you're going through puberty and she's a female that you are in near constant contact with, is also rather likely).

      So, if I'm right on either account (and more-so if I'm right on both), you have no business doing anything beyond a simple friendship with this girl, until she is at least where you are mentally and emotionally, because trust me, she is nowhere near it now.

      If you really, really want this girl that much, wait it out a few years. But otherwise, I'd say give it up and find a girl your age.
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    • Re: I'm in love with an 11 year old... NEED SERIOUS HELP

      Like some others have said, there's nothing much you can do except wait it out or move on.

      I know kids are growing up a lot faster these days but that doesn't mean she's okay to date. Like Bebop said, you two are at different maturity levels. It won't really even out until you're in your 20s or so.
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    • Re: I'm in love with an 11 year old... NEED SERIOUS HELP

      I think its best if u w8 for years to comes, when u and her are in about ur 20s, 20 and 25 is a long way to go, but u just have to talk to her and just be freinds till that time comes..... then give her a ring by then!
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    • Re: I'm in love with an 11 year old... NEED SERIOUS HELP

      1) I put into question your maturity if you like a baby.

      2) I am worried that you are verging on pedophile. Are you going to fall in love with a 11 year old when you're 18? Jail time

      You're 16, she's 11. What kind of person are you if you are obsessed with a child?
      It's inappropriate that you are even talking to her.

      And you want to win her heart? She's 11!

      What you think you're going to get engaged when she's 12 and get married by 13?

      If you think she's great just WAIT

      5 years is a HUGE deal now it won't be later.

      Wait for when she is 16 and you are 21. That is still bad but A LOT better.

      Or like 18 and 23- not a big difference.

      But 11 and 16? uuh

      weirdo

    • Re: I'm in love with an 11 year old... NEED SERIOUS HELP

      Hello TrollKiller!

      Honestly, I am not going to post that this is inappropriate, as I do not feel it is. I stayed with a foster family for a year and when the husband was in College, the Wife was in Grade Six. They married later on in life as they were soul mates. Honestly you need to wait till you both fully grow up and then if she feels the same way about you, to start a relationship. I would suggest you date someone else for the time being, someone your age, to get experience.

      Regards,
      Your Friendly Baboon
      Cat.

    • Re: I'm in love with an 11 year old... NEED SERIOUS HELP

      for some reason I think this is a joke. but hey I'll humor you then.

      I say wait a little. Love has no time limit. if you do love her for real (which I doubt) then wait. try to spend time with some other girls though and you will see there are alot of girls who are like that too who are your age. thats what I think. you don't have enough female friends or females in your life so you resort to this. try handing around the mall or hell if you're a gamer or anime fan or...w/e go to a con and meet someone there.I say chances are better if you meet a girl in a place for what you both really like then you will develop as friens better and maybe even fall in love
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    • Re: I'm in love with an 11 year old... NEED SERIOUS HELP

      TrollKiller wrote:

      Okay before you go and judge me and tell me I'm terrible and sick and whatnot, please hear my story. I am 16 years old, and I am in love with my best friend's 11 year old sister. The best way to explain this and for people to help me is to start from the beginning. Which takes me back 5 years, to when I met my best friend. I never really noticed his little sister, mostly because, well, she was little. But I got closer and closer to my best friend which means I got closer to his family. Over a year ago, his sister started playing a game online we both played, and I started really talking to her for the first time. We escalated our conversations to aim. We talked every night for hours and really made a fun thing out of it and always were excited to see each other on aim. Of course, we weren't so close in real life, that took a while longer. I never made a point to hang out with her in real life, but playing so many video games with my best friend at his house I happened to be around her alot so I suppose we got closer. We talked less on aim but more in real life and eventually we admitted to really being friends. And by then I had admitted to myself I was in love with her. Its not my fault, she's funny, smart, beautiful, all I could ever want. She's my last thought before I go to bed, and my first when I wake up. I'm not exaggerating when I say I lay in bed for hours thinking about her. I've wasted LOADS of time just thinking about her. The last 6 months or so its made me very depressed. I go in mood swings, depending on if I'm at my friends house alot and seeing her alot or not in which I'm very sad. In general though, the love I have for her causes me pain because I'm very sure its not returned. I've gone into depression, I can't think about anything but her, and its ruining my life. I'm desparate. I have no creepy or bad intentions, why can't I be with her? Why can't she share my feelings? Why do the laws of society have to be so harsh? Her parents are another thing, if they found out I loved her, I wouldn't be allowed to be around her, that would ruin me. So that is possibly the worst thing of all I CAN'T TELL HER ;( As you can see I need serious help. My only goal in life is to win her heart. And there are younger competitors at times whom I can't compete with bc they can outwardly and easily flirt with her w/o being looked at funny. It drives me insane. HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!! :"(
      I'm having a bit of the same problem, except the guy is older and he knows, I told him. Everyone knows and it wasn't that bg of a deal. But anyway,...

      I think you should continue getting closer and being friends with her, you don't know if she returns your feelings because, I'm asuming you've never talked to her about this. I think you should wait to talk to her though, wait until she's a little older and understands things better.

      I don't at all think you should walk out on her, because if she does return your feelings it'll crush her. So, continue being her friend and hold out on talking to her. If you really love her, your feelings won't fade over time.
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