i'm 17, male. I feel like, i just look so ugly all the time. and i know i'm not. kind of.
i look great in some pictures, and when i look in the mirror (with the lights on) i look good. but i feel like i only look good in certain light. i feel ugly all the time because of it. i hate going on video chat websites because i have to be in the bathroom where the lighting is good to make me look good. i don't know what to do. i am so depressed because of my uglyness even though people tell me im cute all the time. i don't feel cute.
I'm also gay, and my parents don't accept me. they are depressed all the time because of it, and they still love me, but i'm not allowed to have a boyfriend and i'm not allowed to come out to anyone because my parents are worried about my safety and how it will affect my 13 year old sister and 11 year old brother.
i think they also care about what people would think about their parenting, but they won't say that.
i really want a boyfriend, i'm super super lonely and i can't find any because i live in murrieta, and this town is just really really super conservative, and all the people that are gay probably aren't even out (like myself) because of all the hate.
Then, i really really don't have very good friends. i have a couple really good friends, but i don't hang out with them much. and a lot of them don't really like the same stuff as me. I want friends that like the same stuff and the ones that do i always feel are going to make fun of me and call me a poser...
i just don't know what to do.
i feel like shit 24/7
i wouldn't hurt myself.
but i think if i had someone that loved me and could make me feel better i would be ok.
but i can't find one.
i look great in some pictures, and when i look in the mirror (with the lights on) i look good. but i feel like i only look good in certain light. i feel ugly all the time because of it. i hate going on video chat websites because i have to be in the bathroom where the lighting is good to make me look good. i don't know what to do. i am so depressed because of my uglyness even though people tell me im cute all the time. i don't feel cute.
I'm also gay, and my parents don't accept me. they are depressed all the time because of it, and they still love me, but i'm not allowed to have a boyfriend and i'm not allowed to come out to anyone because my parents are worried about my safety and how it will affect my 13 year old sister and 11 year old brother.
i think they also care about what people would think about their parenting, but they won't say that.
i really want a boyfriend, i'm super super lonely and i can't find any because i live in murrieta, and this town is just really really super conservative, and all the people that are gay probably aren't even out (like myself) because of all the hate.
Then, i really really don't have very good friends. i have a couple really good friends, but i don't hang out with them much. and a lot of them don't really like the same stuff as me. I want friends that like the same stuff and the ones that do i always feel are going to make fun of me and call me a poser...
i just don't know what to do.
i feel like shit 24/7
i wouldn't hurt myself.
but i think if i had someone that loved me and could make me feel better i would be ok.
but i can't find one.