I've become extremely obsessed with my weight lately... I realised over a time span of 3 months or so.. It's almsot impossible for me to lose weight, no matter how healthy I am...
But.. The past week.. I've been doing something. Every night.. I feel really bad about myself, When i lean over.. I get like stupid fatty rolls. and it sickens me. my arms are so thick, i look just small and fat. I'm so fed up with myself..
But every night.. I feel so bad.. that i cry and run to the bathroom.. and try to make myself throw up.. It doesn't work sometimes.. Sometimes i just gag when i jam the toothbrush down my throat.. but.. afterwards.. i realise what i've done.. and i feel terrible. but not half as bad as i do before, when i feel fat and useless..
I don't want this to go so far that i need mental help.
I'm really scared.. I know this isn't healthy. but I can't stop it.
But.. The past week.. I've been doing something. Every night.. I feel really bad about myself, When i lean over.. I get like stupid fatty rolls. and it sickens me. my arms are so thick, i look just small and fat. I'm so fed up with myself..
But every night.. I feel so bad.. that i cry and run to the bathroom.. and try to make myself throw up.. It doesn't work sometimes.. Sometimes i just gag when i jam the toothbrush down my throat.. but.. afterwards.. i realise what i've done.. and i feel terrible. but not half as bad as i do before, when i feel fat and useless..
I don't want this to go so far that i need mental help.
I'm really scared.. I know this isn't healthy. but I can't stop it.