I'm really scared..

    • I'm really scared..

      I've become extremely obsessed with my weight lately... I realised over a time span of 3 months or so.. It's almsot impossible for me to lose weight, no matter how healthy I am...

      But.. The past week.. I've been doing something. Every night.. I feel really bad about myself, When i lean over.. I get like stupid fatty rolls. and it sickens me. my arms are so thick, i look just small and fat. I'm so fed up with myself..
      But every night.. I feel so bad.. that i cry and run to the bathroom.. and try to make myself throw up.. It doesn't work sometimes.. Sometimes i just gag when i jam the toothbrush down my throat.. but.. afterwards.. i realise what i've done.. and i feel terrible. but not half as bad as i do before, when i feel fat and useless..

      I don't want this to go so far that i need mental help.
      I'm really scared.. I know this isn't healthy. but I can't stop it.
    • Re: I'm really scared..

      Be happy with yourself, its all good.
      I tried losing weight a while back because i was sick of myself, actually disgusted. I couldnt do it, it took too much work to lose a couple of pounds that jumped back on the next day.

      Now im fine and ive lost the weight but i only started losing weight when i told myself im happy with the way i am.

      Say to yourself im happy with the way i am, id just prefer to be a little different. I swear thats all it took for me to change my outlook on it and it helped so much. Ok so all you need is the right reasons to do it, and some gooood motivation (like a girl you wanna be with or something). Whether you get the girl you want at the end is irrelevant tbh but it helps you get through the most difficult times of a workout.

      Also, sound like if youre eating healthily, this is a healthy weight for you. If you exercise plenty and eat the right stuff theres not much more you can do, just be happy with yourself.
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    • Re: I'm really scared..

      Speak to someone about this now before it becomes such a large part of your life you don't want to, and trust me it will if you leave it and don't get help. You can admit its a problem which is good, but the fact you still do it and dont feel as bad after shows the mentality to develop an eating disorder is there, which isn't good. Speak to your parents if you can, they can help get you the help that you need failing that your GP is a good person to speak to.
      On a side note, your other thread about your hair falling out? This will make it ten times worse, and the fact its falling out so much already indicates to me that you weren't healthy beforehand. You may think you were being healthy but sometimes people don't quite understand what that involves. You have to get a certain number of calories each day or your body will start to sacrifice things, your hair could be one of them. You also need a wide variety of nutrients and even if your trying to eat healthily you still need some fat in your diet. Can I ask what a typical days food was before the vomitting?
      [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    • Re: I'm really scared..

      Thats not even nearly enough, honestly get help please.. speak to your parents or a doctor because thats how I started.. Its been 5 years now and Im much healthier now but I cut down to around that and didnt stop cutting down. Im not proud but it was a big part of my life and I cant deny that and I don't want to see others doing the same thing.
      Ignoring the throwing up part just for a moment, an average woman needs 2000 calories a day, this is dependant on your lifestyle and size etc. Looking at that diet your consuming around 600 depending on what type of soup and how much a bowl is to you. It appear your hair has been the first thing sacrificed. Next will be your skin and nails. Your skin will become dull and you'll break out, your nails will yellow and be brittle. This is just the surface damage, it thats whats happening that you can see think about whats going on inside you, your bones will become brittle and you will become very suceptable to osteoporosis next it will be your organ tissue thats sacrificed..

      Now going back to throwing up, this means most of the nutritional value isnt even being absorbed, although your consuming 600cals your only absorbing around 50 which i dangerously low speeding up the processes I described above. Also your straining the stomach muscle, eventually your stomach will tear due to the stress of it all. Before this though our teeth with yellow an erode from the acid and your breath will smell bad as well as having the burning pain in the back of your throat constantly. And this is just some of the problems it will cause.

      Your periods will also stop, you'll stop developing and eventually it can make you infertile.

      Im sorry for the way this post will probably come across, that Im blaming you or something. I can guarentee you I'm not, I know what your going through but a lot of people need the 'shock factor' to help boost them into doing something about it, although its not enough for everyone. If you need to talk at all your welcome to PM me or talk here whatever makes you more comfortable but I beg you to talk to someone professional as well and seek help.
      [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    • Re: I'm really scared..

      Virtually everyone has those fat rolls when they lean over, even the skinniest of women/men.

      I may sound like a jerk, but I also thought that you've got some kind of disorder/disease as I read your post, that's distorting how you view yourself. I've never seen a picture of you, but I doubt you're even remotely fat. Talk to someone in real life about it.
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      The post was edited 1 time, last by Titus Pullo ().

    • Re: I'm really scared..

      I suggest that you can and talk to someone you can trust a lot. But also someone you feel comfortable talking to. Maybe one of your good friends, or a teacher at school you really have a strong bind with. You would not want to do something that you'll regret later. So talk to people you can trust then move your way up to talking to someone like a guidance counseller or maybe even you parents.
    • Re: I'm really scared..

      u dont have to worry about weight cuz as the person above me said ur not fat AT ALL , ur obbsessing over nothing really ! but if u do wanna lose weight , just work out and go for a run like an hour a day in the morning and take a shower afterwords before breakfast and eat really healthy ( fruits and vegetables alot ) avoid fat food smoking and stuff like that , and trust me after a month u'll have the most beatiful body ever :D

      The post was edited 1 time, last by kadi_02 ().

    • Re: I'm really scared..

      Well it sounds to me like you're just like a lot of other girls I've met you aren't fat but for some reason you think you are. My sister does the same thing you do and it's part of her bipolar disorder although I can't diagnose anyone I don't think you have that, you're just acting upon the way every girl thinks. For some reason women always think they are fatter than they are and men always think they're skinnier than they are or that their weight is normal.
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