Hey peoples, this is something that has been bothering me since well, the beginning of the year and being anonymous here, I figured I could get multiple advices without telling everyone I know my situation So yeah done rambling here it goes:

This boy I've dated twice, and all together it's been a year and 6 months really means a lot to me but he can be so pessimistic and a "realist" as he likes to call it usually. He's a good boyfriend, doesn't abuse me or anything like that, lol just has a tendency to piss me off at times.

Back a few months ago we were having one of our deep conversations and we somehow got onto his topic. He told me that he doesn't really see us dating all the way through high school. He isn't confident with high school relationships at all being a "realist." He sees his uncle and aunt who were high school sweet hearts and are miserable apparently and he doesn't want that.

I told him I don't expect a happy ever after, but I asked him why can't you live it day by day? You're just planning a break up...Then asking him a few more questions he said even after he would love to live with me, and stay in contact but again, going based on other peoples experiences, he doubts him, his friends and I will stay in contact.

I've gone through lapses feeling like I'm wasting my time then I think about the experience [not in the sexual way or stuff like that] I can gain and learn from all this. It really bothers me to have this in my head at times, and I can honestly say I love the kid. I just wish he could be more open too when it came to serious stuff, that conversation was once in a blue moon. He can be so reserved even to his family.

exactly, that's how I see it. But I can't change his opinion, that's just how he is.
I'm not saying I'm completely optimistic because that would be a lie, however, in a case like this I don't see the logic.

Thank you so much. I try to. Sometimes it gets overwhelming. I bottle things up at times and worry if it's going to happen soon, because I know how he acted the last time before he called it off. He already told me he will try to avoid a rebound girl because he thinks it's a terrible thing. He'd rather stay single.

Advantages of having parents who are close friends: I get more details too. I just found out recently he doesn't know what to do in life really and it bothers him more than he shows. He is considering the infamous plan C: Military/Navy/Coast Guard thing.

Yessss they are I swear.. I told him that I would keep in contact whether he likes it or not haa. I will do the same for my closest friends, and that is a lot for me because I am not a phone person.

I can see people my age who are mature about stuff, but this does get so damn annoying. And this is him most the time. It's either Realist/Pessimistic/the IDC attitute towards everyone.

but he has his good times where he can be almost the opposite, still being a 'realist' though

---------- Post added at 01:16 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:15 AM ----------


Hopefully haaa thank you.

Thank you. And that has gone through my mind, but it's easier said than done. But that first question is something I will ask him. Of course I want nothing but an honest answer.

But honestly I also will be on a dating hiatus for awhile when that happens. The guys at my school, I can't really see dating. [Well then again, the guy I'm with I didn't expect to date either...] The ones I used to want to date are too far from reach in other words I know I have no chance, the people they are with would make it unbearable.

You're right, you really are. I'm not sure when to start it though without it being too suspicious or random. When it comes to something like this, I completely fall apart and I can't think straight. I come up with things I wished I said after all of it is said and done. Helping other people is always the easier job.

---------- Post added at 01:54 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:43 AM ----------

What really gets me is the mixed signals too. He says if I'm ever interested in a guy, he'll want to know and when it comes time to introducing to him, my boy says I'll have to make sure our friend [I'll call him 'joe'] is around because he says all he'll most likely do is bash the kid. I told him likewise, but I mean come on, really???? Why bother breaking up?

If the thought of us ever dating a third time around comes along I already know he won't say it or admit to it. He didn't before. He told his parents the last time he tried dating other girls [and the rebound chick of his I really hated at the time] but all he could think about was me, and I even tried to get him to date someone else, but hey that's awkward coming from an ex anyways...

I'd give a lot to be able to fully read his mind