Confused about my sexuality

    • Confused about my sexuality

      I am 18. I started questioning my sexual orientation a couple of months ago and now i am really confused about my sexuality.

      I am attracted to girls and guys. I came out as bi to my friends but because of the confusion I consider myself off label.

      The problems is when I have day dreams, or dreams while I am sleeping, I am only dreaming engaging in sexual actions with women. I have never had dream of doing anything sexual with a man before.

      With pornography(yes i occasionally watch porn), i find myself aroused by lesbian porn, and straight porn. Sometimes I am aroused by gay porn but every once in a while i am not, I also do not frequent gay pornography as much as straight porn.

      Lastly, about a year ago I got into weight lifting, so i bought magazines like M&F, Men's Health. Last year i was not attracted to the bodybuilders in the magazines ads at all, but ever since i have questioned my sexuality some days I am attracted to the bodybuilders in the magazines and other days i am not.

      Right now I just do not know how to label myself. Though being off label may be trendy, I am looking for a label so my sexuality makes more sense to others. If i could get some help on how to label myself that would be great.:)

      The post was edited 1 time, last by AllianceFTW ().

    • Re: Confused about my sexuality

      Are you a guy or a girl?

      But if your confused then your bi, don't worry about labels, if your worried about labels then don't use them and put your name in place of them. You are what you are, straight people can have gay expierences and enjoy them plenty but never again do it and vice versa, all that really matters is what you consider yourself
      [CENTER]:DCan't wait for SGU:D
      [/CENTER]

    • Re: Confused about my sexuality

      You may be bisexual, but from the way you describe what you're going through, I'd say that you'd be bi-curious rather than bisexual. If you've done something more than giving/recieving a handjob from a guy, and liked it, then you might be. Take what I say with a grain of salt though. I'm not too sure of my sexuality myself. :P

    • Re: Confused about my sexuality

      The fact that your attraction is so short lived (if you read any of the other threads about this type of thing, you'll realise that most of us wait years before coming to any definitive stance) and that it has come at such a late age probably indicates that it is just a phase. I would try to not think about it - let what feels natural come as it does. If you think too much into it you may 'trick' yourself into thinking you are bisexual.
      The fact that you are only able to dream about women suggests even further that your attraction to males is rather shallow - so don't jump to conclusions otherwise you could really screw up your emotions.

    • Re: Confused about my sexuality

      Sorry for not clarifying I am a male.

      The problem i have sometimes is that when I think only about women for a couple of days then i feel straight. But then when I see a good looking guy sometimes I start questioning my sexuality, i start thinking i am gay.

      The other problem is sometimes part of my problem as that since I have got into lifting I was able to idolize other men, but it turned into an attraction.

      The other event is that for some reason i had a slight crush on a homosexual male in my class.

    • Re: Confused about my sexuality

      Your confusion is the same that many guys have. The only difference is that you are a little older than most 'confused' guys. If you MUST label yourself, maybe you could say that you are a bi-curious straight guy. That would cover everything you describe.

      Being sexually active with a guy or girl would probably give you the answer you are looking for, but there is something else to consider: who are you in love with? Is it a guy or a girl? <--- that may answer your need for a label.

    • Re: Confused about my sexuality

      Thank you everyone for your responses.

      I started dating this girl after this sexual confusion started. Within the first week of dating I came out to her as bi. Luckily she was more than accepting, it strengthened our relationship if anything.

      I have been seeing her for the past four months and i am totally into to her.

    • Re: Confused about my sexuality

      Maybe you need to lay off the whole "label" thing when it comes to your sexuality. Worrying and seeking a label for yourself may just add more pressure and confusion for yourself.
      Sexuality, no doubt, is confusing. It takes time to figure it out - so, if I were you, I'd consider yourself bisexual until proven otherwise.

    • Re: Confused about my sexuality

      Thank you all for your posts. I figured that I would give my questioning a rest and just wait it out. I figured that by the end of this year I would have a pretty good idea of what my sexual orientation is.

      The problem is the past couple of weeks haven't really helped anything. If anything I have been more confused than usual. :confused:

      About a week ago, one day I do not know why but that evening I felt attracted to men, but then later that same night, i saw a couple of girls and couldn't keep my eyes off them.

      So the next morning i was like f*** it, I am gay. I figured that my liking the girls was just a guilt thing. So later that same day I decided to look at porn. So I decided to look at gay porn. I loaded the video I started to watch and I was very disgusted, like a rather eat dog poop then watch it. The past couple of days I tried looking at gay porn a couple times since then and I was extremely disgusted both times. I looked at pictures of men and said it just doesn't do anything for me anymore.

      The problem is that how do I go from being attracted to men, then to being repulsed by gay porn. Not being aroused/phased by nude male pictures.

      I rather be gay than confused right now, If I could get some insight on why this is happening that would be great.

    • Re: Confused about my sexuality

      AllianceFTW wrote:

      So the next morning i was like f*** it, I am gay. I figured that my liking the girls was just a guilt thing. So later that same day I decided to look at porn. So I decided to look at gay porn. I loaded the video I started to watch and I was very disgusted, like a rather eat dog poop then watch it. The past couple of days I tried looking at gay porn a couple times since then and I was extremely disgusted both times. I looked at pictures of men and said it just doesn't do anything for me anymore.

      The problem is that how do I go from being attracted to men, then to being repulsed by gay porn. Not being aroused/phased by nude male pictures.

      I rather be gay than confused right now, If I could get some insight on why this is happening that would be great.


      Hey, I wouldn't be worried. I'm bi, but I don't like porn either. It either disgusts me or doesn't do anything for me. It has a lot to do with porn just being mostly fake, anyway. I prefer drooling over real guys that I know, and having real-life experiences. :D