Help me, my friend(s), and I (and all sorts of other problems) {Kinda long...}

    • Help me, my friend(s), and I (and all sorts of other problems) {Kinda long...}

      I'm not usually one to be a sad sap, or write in Comic Sans MS text, but I seriously need some help, or I'm going to lose friends and a very nice girl.

      When I say help ME, I mean the actual me, the real me. There is.... a boundry between the real me and the me people see me as. I feel I have to do this, the real me is funny around the guys and smooth and polite around the ladies, but ever since I had to move away from my friends in Omaha, I have always had a mask on. Not ever actually me. My mask was simple, I was extremely hilarious without any thought of the conciquences. So, I guess what I need help with is coming back out of my shell and being the real me, if there is anything you guys think I should do.

      Now, I say friend(s) because I am not sure if I have one friend or tons. Well, my problem started when I asked out the most wonderful girl Jenny, who is as of now my best friend (hoping to be more :kiss:). Now, she had a best friend named Megan, who fell in love with me. Megan was almost as good of a friend as Jenny, but then after she told me for some damn reason she changed, she became mean and grouchy. She never wanted me around even when she told me to come. One day, I just got tired of it, and after <insert personal fight text that is to emotional to tell here> we were pretty much enemies, and then Megan and Jenny stopped being friends. Now, perhaps the souce of them not being friends was Adriana, who completely hates Megan, but is best friends with Jenny. Apparently Megan said something bad about Jenny AND Adriana, and Adriana manipulated Jenny into hating Megan. So now, I am stuck. I am still very mad and angry at Megan for being such a bitch (can I say that :P), yet if I actually announce that I am not her friend it will appear as though I'm taking sides and could hurt my reputation in the future. And I suppose I should add that Megan tried to manipulate Jenny (which Megan completely denies), by saying "Chris fucking loves me and is never talking to you ever again!" That is where I got angry, and where I don't want to go into those emotional details. So, I guess my ultimate questions are
      A. Should I still be friends with Megan?
      B. Should I still like Megan 'more' then a friend?
      C. What can I try to do to make them friends again? and finally
      D. What should I do about Adriana?
      Now, that still isn't the end of my friend problems. Now is a little more emotional problem I am having with girls. Alright, I am a sucker. Period. I see girl, she nice to me I fall in love. This is bad, I know, and I'll get to it later. But anyways, I know three other girls that I have fallen in love with. One is Lindsey, who has helped me through all my emotional times with a soft gental humor and voice. She is currently dating someone. Another is Frankie, the preppy gossip queen who has a face you could think was carved by angels. She is the most wonderful person and is the least bit of a prep I've ever seen. She also, has helped me through my emotional times, but occasionally she is apart of the emotion. She is also dating somebody, and even though she is likes somebody else besides me. The last person is Stephanie... I will get to her in another post, but she changed who I was. She made me the person I am today... sorry I have to stop about her I can't talk about her anymore... but anyways, the main problem I'm having is that I AM IN LOVE WITH ALL OF THEM! And I don't know what to do! I have asked one of them and they told me to wait, but (I'm talking about all 5 of them):
      A. What do I do?
      B. Do I tell them how I feel?
      C. Do I wait until their relationships are over?

      Alright, the final story and question. When I say I, I mean that something physical, a type of external conflict, has happened. This is very awkward, I do not like it, I don't even want to share it, but I feel I must, because I need some words of advice. I... can't tell the story, but I can sort of narrate it out for you...

      (this is going to sound like a mature book or something...) {18+ only :P}

      Her: "We should go farther then that..."
      Me: "How can we go farther then this? Unless you mean..."
      Looks me right in the eye with that sexy smile that gets me every time.
      It was just supposed to be a kiss... I didn't intend for it to go any farther! But for some reason, I lost control. I didn't know what I was doing. Suddenly we were naked in her room... god I didn't even get a chance to see what happened. All I remember was walking away, pale. I turned back... and she was standing there on her porch, half naked... staring...

      We never spoke to each other again. I am 14. I... am ashmed. I have tried suicide (16 attempts) but every time I do it feels like something puts back the pills, cuts the rope, dulls the knife, or makes the water more breathable. I guess, I just need help. I can't even trust my best friend with this, but I know I can trust it with a stranger. Odd as that sounds, I guess I'm just more liable to not hear it coming back to me... please help me.

      Last thing. I promise. It was a fight. A big one. Me versus three other kids. I.. don't want to get into details of what happened... but I sent one into a coma. The kid is in the hospital, and all I can do is sit there with him while his red-neck abusive parents sit back with me and say "You did the right thing." I can't tell my mom, or my friends, because they wouldn't believe me and even if I did they probably wouldn't speak to me. I didn't mean to fight him, I am not a pacifist, but I am not a brute. Please, what should I do...

      Signed,
      Chris Kirlin
      Age 14
      Failed to die 16 times
      Succeeded to die for 2 minutes
      Let me just say
      There is no bright light
      Only pain
      And dark

      If you really think you can help me...

      add me on my messenger...

      [email protected]

    • Re: Help me, my friend(s), and I (and all sorts of other problems) {Kinda long...}

      Ok (after re-reading it 4 times to get all facts striaght)

      First promblem with the girls. Stay away. Ik 3 girls that I was friends with, they got into a fight, I stayed outta it and staid friends with every1 of them. Now, Im guessing Adrianna isnt the most wonderful person to be friends with, just ignore her. Talk 2 Megan and Jenny, and find out the promblem, and why the broke up(not like gf/gf) but talk to them seperatly. And if it involved Adrianna jus tell the girls shes a bitch and walk away. I think you should clean up everything before you start thinking about liking Megan again (see where all the peices fall)

      #2-I actually have the same promblem, I go all Drooly over a girl thats nice 2 me once. But since they have bf's I would stay away, EVEN though they are goreous, just wait cause you already have enough on your plate (you get me)

      #3 about the whole sex thing, you should have a serious talk with her. Like one-on-one. and discuss the night, and both of your feelings towards each other.

      #4- The kids you beat up, you really cant do anythign except apolagize(unless their pricks). but if you look at it one way, no1 is going to mess with you again.

      And suicide is hard, Ive attempted it once,(found out I can survive jumping outta a 3 story window, THAT hurt) but surrond yourself with family, thats what I do, and think about your future. idk if you realize this, but all this will probably wash over you once your graduate college and get a job.
      ITS BETTER TO BE BROKEN, THEN TO BREAK

      myspace.com/crazed4rage