These are a few lessons I've learnt from a love that wasn't always unrequited but iunno- it might help someone out there.
I may be completely wrong but... maybe I'm not.
1. Truthful actions are hidden by decietful coverings:
i.e. Often people will truly feel one thing and do little things or say things that you realise aren't intentional but show their true feelings. However, all the hurtful things they do on purpose are there as decoys just to try and prove to you they don't really care- but maybe you can see the signs that they really do?
2. Everyone uses everyone in some way- but it's wrong if meanicingly.
I believe that somehow everyone is using everyone- even if they love them, they are still using the other person as an outlet for that love because what would they do without them? However, this is often not intentional and not really that harmful because it happens- BUT some people do use people and do it intentionally and harmfully. I don't have advice for how to cope with it- it's just what I've noticed. And I think it's wrong.
3. You can fall in love with many and fall out almost as easily- but real love is harder to find but can be found more than once, just don't expect to ever get over your real loves- ever.
Pretty self explanatory i guess. People love people all the time. It's more than infatuation and it's real to an extent. But die hard love is more difficult to get but it's not necessarily the one and only. You will end up sacrificing a lot for any of your deeper loves because it never goes away completely.
4. It's not always important to know and understand what the person you love is thinking, feeling, saying and doing. It's more important to keep faithful to what you know and understand about them deep down.
5. Ride the wave
It's not always possible to get what you want, when you need it the most because some situations are impossible to control. Don't give up and not try but realise you can't control it. Don't try and learn patience but keep your territory and don't bother advancing on your enemy until they become your friend. Because war won't work, "Love is the only force capable of turning an enemy into a friend"
6. Nothing lasts forever.
Anyone who says forever, doesn't mean forever. Just for a forseeable future but thing is, variables occur all the time so forever really just means until the next variable when the next forever begins. Heartache and Love aren't forever.
7. If they didn't care in some way, they wouldn't be in your life
If they really didn't care they would avoid you at all costs- but even then they might just be hiding that they are somehow in your life. Remember- just cos you don't know they are in your life doesn't mean they aren't. They might be in it but secretly from afar and just privately in their own minds.
8. Love is not the opium of the people; it is a low dose painkiller.
Love doesn't blind you to imperfections and make you dellusional- infatuation does that. Love just makes you see an imperfect person perfectly and make the things they do that hurt you endurable.
9. Being selfish isn't always beneficial to yourself.
Getting revenge can hurt you just as much as the one you love. And anything that is selfish you may do to try and protect yourself but you might end up being just as hurt, if not more so.
10. Pride destroys your self respect.
If pride is the only thing stopping you from really trying to make it work etc. then you will end up hating yourself for preventing your own possible happiness. Pride is a vanity- not a virtue.
11. You'll always want to hurt yourself but do anything to see those you love out of harm's way.
Feelings of self loathing are always prevalent and people hate themselves more than their worst enemy because of the concience. However, you are a complete hypocrite because you would hate for the one you love to feel about themselves the way you hate yourself. But I personally don't think being a hypocrite is a bad thing in this situation unless you don't retain empathy.
There are many more lessons I'm sure I've learnt. I don't want to give false hope to anyone and for a lot of people I bet this isn't true and doesn't fit. But it's just my observations atm. And for me, they are true. I just hope this helps someone going through a similarly hard time.
I may be completely wrong but... maybe I'm not.
1. Truthful actions are hidden by decietful coverings:
i.e. Often people will truly feel one thing and do little things or say things that you realise aren't intentional but show their true feelings. However, all the hurtful things they do on purpose are there as decoys just to try and prove to you they don't really care- but maybe you can see the signs that they really do?
2. Everyone uses everyone in some way- but it's wrong if meanicingly.
I believe that somehow everyone is using everyone- even if they love them, they are still using the other person as an outlet for that love because what would they do without them? However, this is often not intentional and not really that harmful because it happens- BUT some people do use people and do it intentionally and harmfully. I don't have advice for how to cope with it- it's just what I've noticed. And I think it's wrong.
3. You can fall in love with many and fall out almost as easily- but real love is harder to find but can be found more than once, just don't expect to ever get over your real loves- ever.
Pretty self explanatory i guess. People love people all the time. It's more than infatuation and it's real to an extent. But die hard love is more difficult to get but it's not necessarily the one and only. You will end up sacrificing a lot for any of your deeper loves because it never goes away completely.
4. It's not always important to know and understand what the person you love is thinking, feeling, saying and doing. It's more important to keep faithful to what you know and understand about them deep down.
5. Ride the wave
It's not always possible to get what you want, when you need it the most because some situations are impossible to control. Don't give up and not try but realise you can't control it. Don't try and learn patience but keep your territory and don't bother advancing on your enemy until they become your friend. Because war won't work, "Love is the only force capable of turning an enemy into a friend"
6. Nothing lasts forever.
Anyone who says forever, doesn't mean forever. Just for a forseeable future but thing is, variables occur all the time so forever really just means until the next variable when the next forever begins. Heartache and Love aren't forever.
7. If they didn't care in some way, they wouldn't be in your life
If they really didn't care they would avoid you at all costs- but even then they might just be hiding that they are somehow in your life. Remember- just cos you don't know they are in your life doesn't mean they aren't. They might be in it but secretly from afar and just privately in their own minds.
8. Love is not the opium of the people; it is a low dose painkiller.
Love doesn't blind you to imperfections and make you dellusional- infatuation does that. Love just makes you see an imperfect person perfectly and make the things they do that hurt you endurable.
9. Being selfish isn't always beneficial to yourself.
Getting revenge can hurt you just as much as the one you love. And anything that is selfish you may do to try and protect yourself but you might end up being just as hurt, if not more so.
10. Pride destroys your self respect.
If pride is the only thing stopping you from really trying to make it work etc. then you will end up hating yourself for preventing your own possible happiness. Pride is a vanity- not a virtue.
11. You'll always want to hurt yourself but do anything to see those you love out of harm's way.
Feelings of self loathing are always prevalent and people hate themselves more than their worst enemy because of the concience. However, you are a complete hypocrite because you would hate for the one you love to feel about themselves the way you hate yourself. But I personally don't think being a hypocrite is a bad thing in this situation unless you don't retain empathy.
There are many more lessons I'm sure I've learnt. I don't want to give false hope to anyone and for a lot of people I bet this isn't true and doesn't fit. But it's just my observations atm. And for me, they are true. I just hope this helps someone going through a similarly hard time.
