Help with a pedophile?

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    • Help with a pedophile?

      Hello, I have a problem. My seventeen-year-old sister was dating, and having sex with a twenty-two-year-old man since she was 15-16. When I found out I informed my parents. We cut off her contact with him completely (as I thought) but he would still stroll around, and pick her up at night, and return her early in the morning. I became sick of it, and decided to go to his residence where he lives with his mother (who is in fact a prostitute) and told him to leave her and move along or I would kick his crooked teeth in, or inform the police of the relationship. (I usually wouldn't want to get police involved.) He continued so I started to try to entice him to fight me (I would have gone to jail if I just kicked his teeth in most likely.) insulting him, and his family. He said that he would, but he won't because of my sister. (He clearly was too afraid) I tried to entice him even more by calling him a pussy, but alas he left. (I'm usually a very level headed person, but this has become too much of a problem.) My Dad, and I locked down even harder making sure she didn't sneak out at night. Everything went well for awhile until I found out she was talking to him online, and cut her interenet off. She says that she's going to marry him as soon as she turns eighteen, but I tried to explain that the guy was generally a piece of shit, who slept around with other women (which she was aware of, but didn't care.) and would ruin her life. She doesn't care. Apparently it's technically "legal" now for them to have a relationship, and in her mind he will be a wonderful, faithful, husband; instead of a piece of shit, unemployed, living with his mom, pedophile. How to I put a stop to this?
      -M.N.

      For the ones who didn't feel like reading I'll sum it up:
      A loser pedophile has sweet talked my sister into being "in love" with him even though he a unemployed, still living with his mom, drug user, pedophile, and she says she going to marry him when she turns eighteen. How do I stop this?

      The post was edited 1 time, last by M.N. ().

    • Re: Help with a pedophile?

      Considering that you are two years younger than your sister, I'm kind of curious what your places is in this?

      Just to be frank about it, I don't see where you have the right to demand your sister takes out the garbage, must less stops seeing this guy. This is something that is best left in the hands of your parents. Now... that being said, this should have involved the police a LONG time ago. Unfortuantely, Alabama lists 16 as their age of consent, so there's nothing you can do to this guy to get him tossed in jail anymore... you should have taken care of that when she was 15.

      Unfortunately, some lessons just have to be learned the hard way. The guy sounds like a loser, your sister is eventually going to find out he's a loser, but she's going to make several mistakes before then.... several more than she's already made.

    • Re: Help with a pedophile?

      Firstly, you have to be careful calling someone a pedophile without basis. A pedophile is someone who has sex with, or has an attraction to children who are prepubescent - this meant, before puberty has started. So, generally speaking, it would mean he was having sex or trying to have sex with children 11 or below. Is this the case?

      I am aware that sometimes, some departments and area's of government will use it to describe those who have sex with someone under the age of consent, but this isn't correct really, and it's not the right use of the word.

      It tells you about it here:       Pedophilia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

      I am only saying this because, if you keep calling him that name or spreading it around, he probably could try and take you to court for defimation of character.

      Having said all that - I totally understand where you're coming from, in regards to your sister being around someone who obviously isn't worth it. He doesn't sound like someone who would be a very good 'husband' and she no doubt could do much better.

      The problem is, by acting in the way you and your family are, you're creating a unit. You're making her want him even more, because you're all telling her she can't have him. It's actually pushing them closer together. After a point, she will be wanting to be with him out of a point of principle and not because of how much she likes him. And that's something you need to avoid.

      She's 17 now, and like it or not, she can do what she wants. I am sure she will learn, and she will realise soon that he's not worth it, and that she can do better. But she has to reach that decision herself. The police, the courts...they can't do anything, and won't get involved, as no laws are being broken. Unless, of course, you do have evidence that he is having sex, or trying to have sex with children under the age of around 11. Which I am not sure if he is or not.

      My strong advice would be to stop trying to make it hard for them both, it's going to push them closer. Let them be. Let her realise on her own that he's no good, and then it will all be over. By making it harder and harder, she's now even talking about marrying him, and she wouldn't have even probably thought of that before, but it's what she's being 'pushed' into
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    • Re: Help with a pedophile?

      Jenna wrote:

      Considering that you are two years younger than your sister, I'm kind of curious what your places is in this?

      Just to be frank about it, I don't see where you have the right to demand your sister takes out the garbage, must less stops seeing this guy. This is something that is best left in the hands of your parents. Now... that being said, this should have involved the police a LONG time ago. Unfortuantely, Alabama lists 16 as their age of consent, so there's nothing you can do to this guy to get him tossed in jail anymore... you should have taken care of that when she was 15.

      Unfortunately, some lessons just have to be learned the hard way. The guy sounds like a loser, your sister is eventually going to find out he's a loser, but she's going to make several mistakes before then.... several more than she's already made.


      This is basically the best advice you can get. :)

    • Re: Help with a pedophile?

      Jenna wrote:

      Considering that you are two years younger than your sister, I'm kind of curious what your places is in this?

      Just to be frank about it, I don't see where you have the right to demand your sister takes out the garbage, must less stops seeing this guy. This is something that is best left in the hands of your parents. Now... that being said, this should have involved the police a LONG time ago. Unfortuantely, Alabama lists 16 as their age of consent, so there's nothing you can do to this guy to get him tossed in jail anymore... you should have taken care of that when she was 15.

      Unfortunately, some lessons just have to be learned the hard way. The guy sounds like a loser, your sister is eventually going to find out he's a loser, but she's going to make several mistakes before then.... several more than she's already made.

      I'm trying to look out for her best interest, and the reason I'm pushing for her to get rid of the guy is because if she gets pregnant her life is basically over. He'll leave her, or he will marry her (unlikely) and she will move into his mom's house. etc...

      ---------- Post added at 09:03 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:02 AM ----------

      Also I might have been using he term "pedophile" loosely, Thanks for correcting that.

    • Re: Help with a pedophile?

      IT's great that you care so much for your sister. You obviously want the best for her. The sad truth is though, that you can live her life for her or make decision in her stead. It hurts and it is frustrating but you can keep her from hurting herself if that's what she wants to do. I think that you need to let go. That does not mean giving up on her. Stay availlable for help or whatever if she needs you. I think that she heard you, now you have to let her think and decide for herself. Another sad truth is that you can't help someone who does not want to be helped. So the best thing you can do for her right now is put your energy somewhere else so you can have that energy when it will break up and she will need and want your support.

      Anyway, good luck

    • Re: Help with a pedophile?

      Why does he has to be a pedophile? because he's older than 18? what is that so wrong? I started dating an 25 year old when I was 17 and we are still together and I can guarantee you he didnt give me a sweet talk, you need to chill and let your sister make her own decissions, stop assuming hes a pedophile just because hes older than 18... thats the dumbest think Ive ever heard!

      PS: Sorry for my english, but its not my native language...

    • Re: Help with a pedophile?

      makeawish wrote:

      Why does he has to be a pedophile? because he's older than 18? what is that so wrong? I started dating an 25 year old when I was 17 and we are still together and I can guarantee you he didnt give me a sweet talk, you need to chill and let your sister make her own decissions, stop assuming hes a pedophile just because hes older than 18... thats the dumbest think Ive ever heard!

      PS: Sorry for my english, but its not my native language...

      He's a crackhead (literally), unemployed, lives with him mom, and chases naive girls.

    • Re: Help with a pedophile?

      I would hate to break it to you hun, but technically he's not a pedophile if she's 17. In most states, that's perfectly legal. I understand you don't want him to come around and you've told him to leave her alone but your younger then she is and it's up to her to stop going with him.

      Edit: Then you question should of been "help with a crackhead" not pedophile.

      The post was edited 1 time, last by Cowpiepk ().

    • Re: Help with a pedophile?

      I am sure your sister is as stubborn about this as you are. However, she sounds like she is going to do what she wants to do. Even if this dude she is dating was a serial killer, she would 'love' him.

      Sounds like she is trying to escape from you and your dad. Don't make it worse by 'telling' her what do do, and threatening him. She will listen to you, when you sound reasonable. Don't be a jerk to her OR him, because she will just tune you out, and keep counting the days until she can finally get out of your life.

    • Re: Help with a pedophile?

      I woke up last night, (around 1:50 a.m.) and found the window in the guest bedroom open. Right away I checked my sisters room to find that she has left. I wake my dad, and inform him of such, and we get in the car. We scan the sides of the roads, and see that our neighbors basement shelter door was unlocked. So we go in the basement, and find my sister, and the statutory rapist naked. (underneath the anger; it was sort of funny on the reaction. I've never seen a man look so terrified in my life) We tell my sister to get her clothes on, and go to the house. She does, and I go with her. My dad call the police giving his cars tag numbers, and the type of vehicle to the police. He tries to escape, but is caught. (Kind of a dumb thing trying to escape by going into the city where cops are crawling over the place. :rofl:) So from what I hear he's being charged with:
      - Statutory rape/enticing a minor.
      - Driving a car without license/insurance (not even his car)
      - Resisting arrest
      - Speeding
      Multiple people witnessed this, and can testify. So he's going away for a long time. We're going to put her in therapy. She has some sort of alernative reality in her mind, AND believes it. So hopefully we can help her. (We acknowledge it was mostly her fault, and we will be putting her on some sort of probation.)

      TL;DR: He's going to jail. :cool:

    • Re: Help with a pedophile?

      To me it's not about the guy. We were basically looking for a way for her to break her probation. She's just a cancer that will infect the rest of the family. We gave her repeated chances, and all she does is go around getting drunk, doing various drugs, and having sex with 20-30-year-old men. So we're sending her to juvy.

      This might sound like we're the bad guys, but all she does is bring bad things on the family, and I frankly don't care what she thinks of me.

      The post was edited 1 time, last by M.N. ().