I'm the only one who can give my life a meaning... but with myself
dead, there is no need for meaning. It's not about my emotions, It's about rational analysis.

I realize I'm even not the one who owns my life. My existence is required by others. It's like a prison I can't escape because of my own sense of responsibility.

It might destroy the lives of my relatives, of some of my friends. It's a small town and It's impossible to hide something like this. I don't know how strong are their abilities to cope with something like this, but during the last few years we have lost people we knew... and so our family is getting smaller and smaller.

My mother needs someone to support her when she gets older and is unable to work at her job anymore, my brother needs someone who can assist him - our (me and my brother) personalities are almost identical - except he's extrovert, I'm introvert. We have the same hobbies, similar interests, equal intellects etc. My mother probably won't have another child. She divorced when I was one year old, and haven't been in any other relationships since then.

If somebody you knew had committed suicide, how did it affect you, his/her family, friends, people who knew him/her? Please, share your experiences. This information might help me consider my possible actions, just please, be honest, even if the truth is ugly.

I know, there have been many topics about this on the internet, but raw feedback is more worth than a thousand generic articles.


Thanks in advance.