i just feel that ive messed up so many times. now as a junior i see that i didnt get to know other people simply because i held grudges with ones i knew. ive been told a few times that i was too serious. my ex g/f told me this and told me that i didnt care enough for her friends and such. i did my best saying hi to them everyday but made a critical mistake saying i didnt like her "guy" friends. she said she didnt have time for me ending our relationship and made me feel down for a long time. cuz i wouldve gave my all to her. thinking back, my stubborness and the grudges i held gave ppl a reason not to become friends with me. overall, im nice and outgoing, but things just are slow. i noticed before girls were saying hi to me and trying to get to know me, but i guessed i didnt show enough interest in them. now im trying to make up for it, but theyre not showing any interest in me now.

sorry for not putting my thought process in an organized manner. i was thinking suicidal thoughts but yea, i know i cant do that. i just feel that i messed up so much that trying to get to know others is going to be in vain from what i see each day in school.

yea. but everything just seems the same each day. i try my best to get to know others but they just dont care i guess. cant blame em. junior year of high school. you basically know enough ppl to just chill out. but i found out i dont