He's a player?

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    • He's a player?

      I recently started going out with this guy last week (I'll call him "John.") Before we even began dating, we'd spend hours texting each other every day. And finally, I got up the nerve to tell him how I felt, kind of already knowing that he felt the same. Two days after I confessed, he asked me out.

      I decided to tell my friends about John and me becoming a couple, hoping that they would be happy for me since last year I went through a horrible
      break-up with this guy that I really cared about. But one of my friends told me that John previously told her that he liked her and asked her out just the month before. Of course, I was shocked because I didn't know this. My friend said she turned John down since she'd just broken up with her boyfriend & she said that John was a bit of a player. I'm aware of John's previous relationships with other girls, but it still hurt hearing that only a month ago, he'd asked another girl out. It made me wonder just how quickly he is able to move on from liking one girl to another. He's sweet, funny, handsome, smart, and he's a good friend, but do you think he really likes me, or am I just another girl on his list?

    • Re: He's a player?

      Well, it could have just been a simple crush and not really any strong feelings, in which case it wouldn't take that long for him to move on. If you're worried, consider his previous relationships and how quickly he bounced in and out of them. That should tell you something. However, if he's not the type that tries to get other girls while being in a relationship, then maybe you have nothing to worry about. He could have a legitimate liking towards you, but you'll never know unless you give it a shot. If he's not giving you any reason, currently, to doubt him, then try not to worry about it.

      Hope this helped.
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    • Re: He's a player?

      Well maybe "your friend" is telling you hes a player. But dont get that stuck in yoour head. Theres a kid like that at my school his names augusto . He gets over SOME girls really fast. He's trying to look for a relationship and when hes see's someone that likes him he takes the oppurtunity. And i of course i dont think its right but ... he didnt want to miss out on something that could turn into the relationship he wanted. Dont go assuming things unless the guy is going around asking for "some"

    • Re: He's a player?

      Here's my advice. Guys don't tend to obsess over one girl, we tend to like a few at a time. So when he asked your friend out, it shouldn't take him long before hes over it. He hadn't broken up with her she just didn't want to go out. You talk to him alot and seem to know him pretty well, so just relax for now and enjoy going out with him.

    • Re: He's a player?

      Jasmine wrote:

      Well, it could have just been a simple crush and not really any strong feelings, in which case it wouldn't take that long for him to move on. If you're worried, consider his previous relationships and how quickly he bounced in and out of them. That should tell you something. However, if he's not the type that tries to get other girls while being in a relationship, then maybe you have nothing to worry about. He could have a legitimate liking towards you, but you'll never know unless you give it a shot. If he's not giving you any reason, currently, to doubt him, then try not to worry about it.

      Hope this helped.

      I know of two relationships he's had this year - none of them lasted for a particularly long time. I've been trying to convince myself that maybe I'm over thinking, and I'm letting what my friend told me get to me too much. Hearing that he told her he liked her wasn't exactly what I was expecting. I know she was just trying to warn me to be careful, but it still hurt.

      He doesn't flirt with other girls. He has female friends, and I respect that because most of my friends are male anyway. I feel that he has been (and hopefully will be) a good boyfriend. But sometimes it seems like he's still treating me like I'm just his friend. We're in different classes at school, so I don't see him often. And when I do see him, it's just awkward. How can I stop these awkward encounters?
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    • Re: He's a player?

      ℓυиα яoυχ wrote:

      I know of two relationships he's had this year - none of them lasted for a particularly long time. I've been trying to convince myself that maybe I'm over thinking, and I'm letting what my friend told me get to me too much. Hearing that he told her he liked her wasn't exactly what I was expecting. I know she was just trying to warn me to be careful, but it still hurt.

      He doesn't flirt with other girls. He has female friends, and I respect that because most of my friends are male anyway. I feel that he has been (and hopefully will be) a good boyfriend. But sometimes it seems like he's still treating me like I'm just his friend. We're in different classes at school, so I don't see him often. And when I do see him, it's just awkward. How can I stop these awkward encounters?

      You should go with your own instincts. If you didn't know he liked your friend, would you still think he's a player? Yes it's good for you to be warned by your friends, but just because he liked her doesn't mean he can't legitimately like you too. You can't let everyone else influence you too much, you still have to remember to go with what you feel/think.

      It could be feeling awkward because of the fact that you don't see each other that often. Maybe you need to spend more time together to get more comfortable with each other. It's always a little awkward in the beginning, but it doesn't have to always be that way. Just don't over think everything and let things play themselves out. You don't have to rush anything, go at a pace you're comfortable with. It's only awkward if you make it that way. Be yourself and just try to spend more time with each other.
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    • Re: He's a player?

      Jasmine wrote:

      You should go with your own instincts. If you didn't know he liked your friend, would you still think he's a player? Yes it's good for you to be warned by your friends, but just because he liked her doesn't mean he can't legitimately like you too. You can't let everyone else influence you too much, you still have to remember to go with what you feel/think.

      It could be feeling awkward because of the fact that you don't see each other that often. Maybe you need to spend more time together to get more comfortable with each other. It's always a little awkward in the beginning, but it doesn't have to always be that way. Just don't over think everything and let things play themselves out. You don't have to rush anything, go at a pace you're comfortable with. It's only awkward if you make it that way. Be yourself and just try to spend more time with each other.


      Honestly, yeah. I would have already thought he was a bit of a player. But I can't say much because I don't know anything about his past relationships, or why they even ended. I don't want to judge simply because of rumours. Which makes me curious to know the truth from him. Would it wise to ask? Or just stupid?
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    • Re: He's a player?

      ℓυиα яoυχ wrote:

      Honestly, yeah. I would have already thought he was a bit of a player. But I can't say much because I don't know anything about his past relationships, or why they even ended. I don't want to judge simply because of rumours. Which makes me curious to know the truth from him. Would it wise to ask? Or just stupid?

      Well, if you're going off of what you've heard, it may be better to see for yourself. And there's nothing wrong with being cautious. You don't have to let your guard down completely right away. Take it day by day and see how things go. If you want to bring it up, I think you should wait until you're more comfortable with each other and there are less awkward encounters. Try to use your best judgment on when it would be good to bring it up. It would be good for you to ask him yourself, though.
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