How to fight this?

    This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse this site, you are agreeing to our Cookie Policy.

    • How to fight this?

      I think that for the past year my life has changed...to the better I believe. I have more friends and I became more sociable. But lately, I don't know why, I have been falling down again, I have this feeling of being unworthy, like I used some time ago. And I don't wanna fall into that hole again after climbing up quite a bit.

      First, at about February, I broke up with my first boyfriend, it had lasted a month and a half. The breakup was a quite bad one...I can't say I was hurt or anything...but I didn't shrug it off either. However, just recently I started being afraid of bumping on him on the streets, and yesterday I just panicked whenever he was around at school, I even changed my course back home to avoid him.

      I don't know what's wrong with me. My confidence has started dropping again. I feel pathetic, kinda depressed too. I feel like a bird panicking in a cage! Not about my ex, but in general. I am almost 17, I have arranged to go on vacation with friends...A while ago I was so enthusiastic but now, whenever I think about it I don't feel that happy. I start believing that there is no place for sensitive people like me. I hate feeling weak. My social anxiety is coming back...and I don't want it!

      I know I am smart, and I could be as cool and laid-back as I have always wanted...But my whole brain, even body, are still co-ordinated into NERD MODE.:mad:

      Please, any help to get out of this would be appreciated!

      The post was edited 2 times, last by eiri777 ().

    • Re: How to fight this?

      The reason I think you are scared around your EX is because you let him in. When you let somebody in you trust them to never hurt you, IDK the nitty gritty about the breakup but I am guessing he hurt you in a pretty horrible way. It's hard to forgive someone who you let all of your shields down to and then he did nothing but make you put them back up. In that essence I feel your best option is to find another person to make you feel good about yourself. Explore all of your options. As for the depression and anxiety I feel it stems back to the boyfriend. Even if you don't have any feelings for him again, i think it safe to say that you are sub-consciously still hurt. I think the only way you are going to get over this is to talk your problems out. I find that sometimes it really cheers me up to talk to myself in the mirror and let out all of my problems to myself. Even if it seems stupid letting the emotions out still helps. Another option is to find a really close friend and tell them all of your issues. If they are your friends then they should have no problem listening to you. I hope I helped in some way. :)

    • Re: How to fight this?

      I think what happened was that because of your break up, you realize that not all is going to go as well as it has started to. One bad thing like that can trigger the fear of falling back into that hole you speak of.

      Now, about your ex, you're letting him get to you. I don't know the specifics about your break up, but you do need to move on. I know that's hard to do, he was your first boyfriend, and the first break up is usually the worst.
      Your confidence is going down and everything as a result of the break up triggering it I believe. You may not see it, but I think that's what it is.

      Try not to think about all that is happening right now. Because you are afraid of things going downward, that is where they are going to go. Try to remain positive about all that's good that has happened, like your friends and all the things you said before. Try and keep that mind set, and I think it might help you maintain where you are now.

      I hope this helped a little
      [LEFT][SIZE=2]"Adapt and Overcome"[/SIZE][/LEFT]
      [RIGHT]"Funny how the truth sounds so cliche"[/RIGHT]
      [RIGHT]~Jack Ingram[/RIGHT]
      [CENTER]
      [SIZE=1][/SIZE][/CENTER]

    • Re: How to fight this?

      Just like Gooey said.You started becomming open and more social and this was kinda the bump in the road.
      You don't have to let this get you down tho you have to realise something the world is divided into two camps.The people who like you and the people who don't .
      You hang out with the people who like you,you go out with them you have fun you enjoy their presence you date them you enjoy being with them.
      The people who don't like you? Well you just bare up with them.
      YOu have to know that throughout your life it will be like this.This cannot bring you down however because otherways you will never be the person you are.
      One important thing that you have to make sure of is that your ''new you'' is not a lie.Is this who you are or is this who you want to be?I am not saying you should be a solo person who does everything alone but some people are just better off with very little social contact.
      For example I don't enjoy social gatherings.I don't think there is anytthing wrong with me this is just who I am.
      Don't get me wrong I am an enjoyable person and I love being with people but if I had the choice of being in a party or being alone with a close friend reading a book or watching a movie I would go for the later.

      Just make sure you are proud of who you are.There is no right way to live your life and just because what X does doesn't apply to you doesn't necessarily make it wrong.

    • Re: How to fight this?

      I have these same sort of confidence mood swings. Whenver I'm feeling low on self esteem, I call or text a friend and we make eachother laugh. If you're free, meet up with someone, or maybe visit someone at their job. Friends are usually the key to make me feel better about myself. Also try doing the things that make you happy, your hobbies or talents, or overally acitivites that make you happy.
      I hope any of this helps you a little bit. There is always a place in the world for you : )

    • Re: How to fight this?

      Does no one pay attention to the fact this was three months ago? Stop bumping an old topic.
      Without sensibility no object would be given to us, without understanding no object would be thought. Thoughts without content are empty, intuitions without concepts are blind. ~Immanuel Kant, Critique of Pure Reason
      [CENTER]The greatest thing you'll ever learn
      Is just to Love
      And be Loved in return
      [/CENTER]