Decisions, Decisions :(

    • Decisions, Decisions :(

      Okay here it is....

      I moved to the other side of the world (from England to New Zealand) and i have been living here for neally 3 years now...... and.... I HATE IT!!!! its horrible..... and I want to go home really badly...

      I have numerous things that tie me down to this country my studys (studying A levels at the moment) and i have come to the calculation that it is in my best interests to leave and go home in Feburary of 2011.

      I started dating a girl last year in october. So i have been with her 7months. She is enroled in a course at a polytechnic which will take her to december of 2011 to complete her course. But i want to get out of this country ASAP...

      I normally have to ask her if she wants to hang out or i normally have to text her first. I do feel like i put most if not all the effort into the relationship. She sometimes doesnt consider my feelings in the decisions that she makes or plans that she makes. But we have talked about this and i have noticed a change in her behaviour. We have talked about possibly moving back together in december to live there toegther and she is also english so she thinks that idea is great.

      But if i stay in New Zealand i could lose a year of valuable time at a very important stage in my life. I want to either join the Royal Air Force in England or possibly go to university in England... Also if i was to wait untill december i would just be working in a supermarket full time.... (not a dream job xD)

      There is a small possabilty we could end up together in England in Dec 2011 if i go in febuary if i go and then she follows me. But i am unsure if this would work and if the temptations to other boys on her half or girls on my half would play a vitla role in ruining the future we have talked about.

      So the question is do i follow my head and go in febuary of 2011 or do i follow my heart and go in december of 2011?

      Thanks for all help guys. :confused:

      The post was edited 1 time, last by pomzrulez ().

    • Re: Decisions, Decisions :(

      yeah man, well you shouldnt discount new zealand just yet, what was the reason for your familys move?

      quite a few people move from the UK to NZ because its cheaper to live (houses, cars, gas, rates) and the jobs are still pretty high paying, but thats just what I hear from friends and stuff

      I live up in Auckland, so not too far away from ya, but yeah maybe this might help you out:

      How to Deal With Homesickness - wikiHow

      &

      How to Handle Being Homesick after Moving Away | eHow.com
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    • Re: Decisions, Decisions :(

      pomzrulez wrote:

      Okay here it is....

      I moved to the other side of the world (from England to New Zealand) and i have been living here for neally 3 years now...... and.... I HATE IT!!!! its horrible..... and I want to go home really badly...

      I have numerous things that tie me down to this country my studys (studying A levels at the moment) and i have come to the calculation that it is in my best interests to leave and go home in Feburary of 2011.

      I started dating a girl last year in october. So i have been with her 7months. She is enroled in a course at a polytechnic which will take her to december of 2011 to complete her course. But i want to get out of this country ASAP...

      I normally have to ask her if she wants to hang out or i normally have to text her first. I do feel like i put most if not all the effort into the relationship. She sometimes doesnt consider my feelings in the decisions that she makes or plans that she makes. But we have talked about this and i have noticed a change in her behaviour. We have talked about possibly moving back together in december to live there toegther and she is also english so she thinks that idea is great.

      But if i stay in New Zealand i could lose a year of valuable time at a very important stage in my life. I want to either join the Royal Air Force in England or possibly go to university in England... Also if i was to wait untill december i would just be working in a supermarket full time.... (not a dream job xD)

      There is a small possabilty we could end up together in England in Dec 2011 if i go in febuary if i go and then she follows me. But i am unsure if this would work and if the temptations to other boys on her half or girls on my half would play a vitla role in ruining the future we have talked about.

      So the question is do i follow my head and go in febuary of 2011 or do i follow my heart and go in december of 2011?

      Thanks for all help guys. :confused:

      Well, I think you should do what's best for yourself. If moving back to England is what's best for your future and that's what you want to do, maybe that's what you should do. You know your situation and you know what it is you really want, so I suggest you go with what you think is best. If you do move in February, your relationship doesn't necessarily have to end. If the two of you really want to be together, you can make it work. Distance doesn't have to end a relationship. It makes it stronger. Temptation can occur even both of you were living together, so if one of you gives into temptation, it's not because of the distance. There can always be temptation, but if both of you really want to be together, neither one of you will give in. Long distance relationships are hard, but so are non long distance relationships. It's just a matter of working through it and making the best out of it.

      Ultimately, do what you think is best. It's your life and you should do what's best for it. Who knows what will happen between now and February of next year. Things can change; you may be fine with staying longer, this decision may be easier, etc. Just think about what you want, but also see how things pan out as the time to reach a decision gets closer.

      I also suggest you work on the issues your relationship has now. There needs to be equal effort in a relationship in order for it to work. If you feel that there's a problem, talk about it. Always keep the communication open.

      Hope this helped. Good luck with everything.
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    • Re: Decisions, Decisions :(

      Thank you everybody that has given me advice.. :) i have decided to go home in febuary i think its best for my self and we have both decided it is waht i should do. We are going to keep the relationship going and i know i wont give into temptation and if she does then that will be the end. But i have given her the option. I have done my part in the relationship and i will continue to do it. I look at it as a way of makin a building she has to put the last block into it. By moving back in DEC of 2011 to be with me. and hopefully that will happen...

      Thanks again everybody i have found this foroum very helpful and am glad to be a member =)

      ---------- Post added at 10:35 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:32 PM ----------

      Kevmo7 wrote:

      yeah man, well you shouldnt discount new zealand just yet, what was the reason for your familys move?

      quite a few people move from the UK to NZ because its cheaper to live (houses, cars, gas, rates) and the jobs are still pretty high paying, but thats just what I hear from friends and stuff

      I live up in Auckland, so not too far away from ya, but yeah maybe this might help you out:



      Thanks Kevmo7 this did help and the reason for my familys move was because of the thingsy ou mentioned above :) im just afraid it hasnt worked out for me here.... btw i think you Kiwis are very nice friendly people! just ashame about the Moaris haha ;) thanks man!

    • Re: Decisions, Decisions :(

      look dude..i ll be straight forward..nothin matters more than your career...your life is about you first..and then others..when you know your gonna waste a whole year..trust me..every second matters..you should move back dude..what if she changes her mind right around december 2011 ??
      what if you people break up or something ??
      a year gone..relationship gone...career gone...i dont think you want that..do you ??think for yourself first !! you wanna study more ?? go back to england..and if you wanna put all your stuff on risk..stay in NZ..
      [FONT="Lucida Console"][COLOR="Navy"][CENTER] [SIZE="4"]Remember The Name :D[/SIZE][/CENTER][/COLOR][/FONT]

    • Re: Decisions, Decisions :(

      shankz_kewl_zombie wrote:

      look dude..i ll be straight forward..nothin matters more than your career...your life is about you first..and then others..when you know your gonna waste a whole year..trust me..every second matters..you should move back dude..what if she changes her mind right around december 2011 ??
      what if you people break up or something ??
      a year gone..relationship gone...career gone...i dont think you want that..do you ??think for yourself first !! you wanna study more ?? go back to england..and if you wanna put all your stuff on risk..stay in NZ..


      Thanks man and yeah i have decied to go back...

      all these thoughts that you have mentioned above i have through about over and over again and im glad to have reached a decision ;)
      thanks :)

    • Re: Decisions, Decisions :(

      pomzrulez wrote:

      Thanks man and yeah i have decied to go back...

      all these thoughts that you have mentioned above i have through about over and over again and im glad to have reached a decision ;)
      thanks :)


      M Glad...have fun dude !! best of luck for your life ahead !! :)
      [FONT="Lucida Console"][COLOR="Navy"][CENTER] [SIZE="4"]Remember The Name :D[/SIZE][/CENTER][/COLOR][/FONT]