So there's these two guys who both courted me at the same time. one is geric my classmate who first courted me and lasted for six months and the other is kiel who courted me for one month. i had chosen kiel to be my boyfriend. Kiel is a graduating student and he has to go to another place quite far from our town to continue his studies. but because i was afraid to enter in a long distant relationship i decided to break our relationship but i still love him (i was drunk when i said that i want to leave him). i decided to leave him few days before the vacation for me to have time in forgetting him. i haven't seen him for five months. then there's this geric who courted me for the second time around. he became my boyfriend just ten days ago.

after five months kiel went back here in our town to visit his family and friends (just a week ago). one day i had seen him in the street, but i just ignored him as if i haven't known him. but at night during that day i suddenly thought of him. as if i missed him so much, and what's worse is, i was already confused if i really loved geric.

i know geric exerted too much effort in courtiing me(imagine six months?!), but i don't know why i really don't feel like being his girlfriend. i mean i know he's my current boyfriend but what i'm currently thinking is, TECHNICALLY we're boyfriends but EMOTIONALLY?? i don't think so. i know i'm becoming bad imagine he courted six months but kiel who courted just one month and kiel became my boyfriend. another is, geric is my boyfriend but i don't appreciate him.

i accepted geric because all the while i thought i had forgotten kiel already but i realized not forgotten as in totally forgotten but few memories still bothers me.

i'm sad because i love kiel but he is not the person who is supposed to be with me right now. and i'm sad because i left kiel and i don't know if he'll still go back to me;(

please help me and give some advice..
would it be nicer if i leave geric as early as possible?
or i'll just be with him?

i'll be leaving our town after seven months and a year and as much as possible i would like to be with the guy i wanted even just before i leave.
:mad:

but i never thought that i don't love him. actually i had feelings for him before but but because i waited for him to court and i had met kiel and i was developed to kiel.

no! definitely no! I didn't picked geric because i couldn't have kiel.. kiel was my past boyfriend and the current is geric, i was just suddenly became confused when memories of kiel keeps on buggling me..